Posts by No Apologies

71

ex wants to be free to remarry - ugh

by No Apologies in

jw
friends

ok, i'm sure i am not the first one to be in this predicament but it sure is a headache, my jw ex called a few days ago, apparently she has met someone (they're not dating of course!

) and she wants to me to hand over the golden ticket.

she wants confirmation either in writing or verbally to a third party, that she is "scripturally free" to remarry.. i have managed for years now to avoid any judicial action and my jw family members still associate with me, but that all could come to a screeching halt if i give her what she wants.. the only bright side is she totally robbed me on the divorce; if she gets married i am at least off the hook for "spousal maintenance", that would mean potentially thousands of dollars in my pocket.... .

No Apologies

I'm paying spousal maintenance because she put on a good sob story, and because my lawyer was amazingly imcompetent. Thanks to her, I now have a foreclosure on my credit history. But I digress...

startingover, I think different members of my JW family will react differently, my parents will probably keep up some kind of contact, they have both been DF'd and I never completely stopped having contact with them. I have one sister who for some reason is very strict when it comes to DFd family members. I am already on thin ice as it is.

Big tex, you are hard-core, lol. hey if I was guaranteed to get out of spousal maintenance, I would have hard time wanting anything else.

No Apologies

33

Anthem for Leaving the WTS

by cantleave in

for me snow patrol's "chasing cars" is becoming something of an anthem for me whilst i am severing myself from the jw's / wts.

if you are unfamiliar withthe lyrics follow this link.

http://www.nme.com/awards/video/id/e1w5lfw-vuy/search/patrol.

No Apologies

Bon Jovi, It's my Life.

It's now or never, I ain't gonna live forever...

No Apologies

71

ex wants to be free to remarry - ugh

by No Apologies in

jw
friends

ok, i'm sure i am not the first one to be in this predicament but it sure is a headache, my jw ex called a few days ago, apparently she has met someone (they're not dating of course!

) and she wants to me to hand over the golden ticket.

she wants confirmation either in writing or verbally to a third party, that she is "scripturally free" to remarry.. i have managed for years now to avoid any judicial action and my jw family members still associate with me, but that all could come to a screeching halt if i give her what she wants.. the only bright side is she totally robbed me on the divorce; if she gets married i am at least off the hook for "spousal maintenance", that would mean potentially thousands of dollars in my pocket.... .

No Apologies

Wow thanks for all the responses. As someone pointed out, it is quite a quandary. But to address some of the suggestions, there is absolutely zero chance of her engaging in any kind of "loose conduct" with this guy or anyone, of that I am sure. I am actually surprised she admits that she has been talking regularly on the phone with this guy. She will never do anything that might be considered "improper" by JW standards. She's already afraid she might be "marked" - oh noes!!!

Part of the problem is that I might have (hypothetically, of course) already told her she is free to remarry.

I also agree that its rediculous that she expects me to play by the JW rules. I think its absurd that she feels constrained by their control tactics. I really would like to stand my ground, tell her the JW rules are her problem not mine. The only problem with that is I am too nice a guy, I really have no desire to stop her from trying to be happy. And then the money of course...

For now, I think I am going to hold firm, she has to somehow meet me halfway. She hasn't even met the guy yet! There is no reason for me to be the one putting everything at risk.

No Apologies

71

ex wants to be free to remarry - ugh

by No Apologies in

jw
friends

ok, i'm sure i am not the first one to be in this predicament but it sure is a headache, my jw ex called a few days ago, apparently she has met someone (they're not dating of course!

) and she wants to me to hand over the golden ticket.

she wants confirmation either in writing or verbally to a third party, that she is "scripturally free" to remarry.. i have managed for years now to avoid any judicial action and my jw family members still associate with me, but that all could come to a screeching halt if i give her what she wants.. the only bright side is she totally robbed me on the divorce; if she gets married i am at least off the hook for "spousal maintenance", that would mean potentially thousands of dollars in my pocket.... .

No Apologies

Ok, I'm sure I am not the first one to be in this predicament but it sure is a headache, my JW ex called a few days ago, apparently she has met someone (they're not dating of course!) and she wants to me to hand over the golden ticket. She wants confirmation either in writing or verbally to a third party, that she is "scripturally free" to remarry.

I have managed for years now to avoid any Judicial action and my JW family members still associate with me, but that all could come to a screeching halt if I give her what she wants.

The only bright side is she totally robbed me on the divorce; if she gets married I am at least off the hook for "spousal maintenance", that would mean potentially thousands of dollars in my pocket...

What to do what to do...

No Apologies

32

Ministerial servant mentions more "empty nester" JW couples getting divorced

by truthseeker in

jw
friends

i was talking to a ministerial servant today, and the subject of marriage came up.

he said something very interesting, that recently many of the friends he grew up with in the truth (he is in his 30s) are on their second or third marriage.. he also talked about a more recent phenomenon that more empty nester jws (couples whose kids have left home), are deciding they don't want to stay together and are getting divorced.. we're talking about couples who have been married 20, 25, 30 or more years suddenly deciding to call it quits and it's not necessarily that they are looking for someone else; they simply want out of the marriage.. divorce does seem to be on the increase in congregations, especially the last one i attended.. it reminds me of a scripture in malachi we would sometimes hear about "not divorcing the wife of your youth".

why do you think divorce and separation are on the rise among long time married jws?.

No Apologies

Snoozy,

What did this guy do that is so terrible??? He was unhappy, he got a divorce. Its not his fault his first wife got cancer. Why are you blaming him???

I'm sorry but I was married for 20 years and I was miserable most of the time. The only reason I stayed is because I was a JW and I knew divorce was "bad". Then one day I realized what a bunch of bs it was, and what an idiot I had been for wasting the best part of my life in an unhappy marriage.

News flash: divorce is not a sin, staying in an unhappy marriage is not a virtue. Life is not a rehearsal, this it it.

No Apologies

27

Cost cutting! The New world Translation is now a soft cover paperback! Mormon style!

by Witness 007 in

calanders have been shrunk to half {less room for hours} awake is now monthly, the watchtower has a "witness only" edition and now.....the bibles are soft cover like the "book of mormon".......less cash out i guess..

No Apologies

Fortunately for the uber-JWs, there are half-a dozen outfits out there that will put a snazzy leather binding on your NWT. They'll even monogram your initials on it too. They'll do your songbook too.

And the paperback books used for the book study, most dubs take them to Kinko's now and get them spiral-bound. Its sturdier and its easy to lay flat.

No Apologies

113

Hypothetically, If Someone Created a Fake Congregation to Trick Another...

by OnTheWayOut in

let's just stay hypothetical.

if someone wanted to create a fake congregation in 7-miles-from-nowhere, north dakota (7-m-f-n, n.d. congregation) in order to trick the elders at another congregation, what could they get away with?.

just assume that they use a p.o.

No Apologies

Ok instead of a phony congregation, all it would take is infiltrating a real cong... this could take considerable time and effort, probably more than its worth. But I think if someone like myself wanted to, it would not take much to go back, do some world-class groveling, get back in, this person could be an elder in 5 years.

No Apologies

113

Hypothetically, If Someone Created a Fake Congregation to Trick Another...

by OnTheWayOut in

let's just stay hypothetical.

if someone wanted to create a fake congregation in 7-miles-from-nowhere, north dakota (7-m-f-n, n.d. congregation) in order to trick the elders at another congregation, what could they get away with?.

just assume that they use a p.o.

No Apologies

Hey I used to live in ND, I know plenty of small towns that could be the site of this new congregation. Except even a cursory glance at a map would probably be enough to kill the charade (Finley, population... 27!?!)

Better would be to pose as say, a suburb congregation. There's a dozen of them, who knows what the name of all of them are. And they don't have their own Hall, they share with some other (real) congregation. "Yes Im from the Spruce Park Congregation here in Minneapolis, we share a hall with Blaine..."

No Apologies

18

Michael Jackson cries after celebrating first christmas

by shopaholic in

jw
friends

i know you all are tired of hearing about michael jackson but after seeing this video, i was reminded of the guilt that lingers after the leaving the jw religion.

as i understand it, his primary reason for leaving was because latoya was df'd and he didn't like having to chose between religion and family.

sounds familiar?.

No Apologies

Thats a nice clip of him, one of the few where he seems like a real person, not like he's not acting or reading from a script. And the fact that he felt guilty about it, I think we can all relate to that.

No Apologies

81

df'd and assemblies.

by ptrehearn152 in

hi newbie here, i have a question that is begining to bug me a little.

i am not a jw or ever will be but my partner was some years ago and quite devout about the religeon then she was df'd for commiting adultry with another man (not me) who was not a jw, she got divored from her jw husband and left behind her 2 boys and went to live with 'the other man', anyway over the years her relationship with her 2 boys began to grow again and now she see's them once every 2 weeks, i should perhaps point out that her ex is a devout jw, she has told me that she would like to at some point go back to the 'hall' and carry on her religeon, i said that i dont have a problem with that but, i wasn't keen on the idea of her walking the streets knocking on doors due to the amount of hatred that some poeple clearly have for jw's and the fact that we now seem to live in a violent world, yes i know that jw's have to do so much 'service work', she has told me that she has not visited a hall since her df so therefore has not repented her sins as it were but on sunday she said that there was an assembly in our local vicinity (it's the annual one) and she would like to go.

i found this a bit odd that someone who had been df'd would be allowed to go to the jw's event of the year so began to wonder if whilst visiting her sons she maybe did visit the hall to somehow show repent with a view to be allowed back into the faith.

No Apologies

ptrehearn152,

nameless_one has summarized the situation very well. JWs have a double standard when it comes to religous freedom, its ok when people leave their former religion to become a JW, its totally wrong for a JW to leave and go to another religion. Any religion that punishes people who simply want to leave is not a regular religion.

reniaa, I don't disagree with everything you post here, but you have a lot of nerve whining about how JWs are "demonized" here. Pot, meet kettle. I dare you to find one reference in Watchtower publications that says anything the least bit positive about former JWs.

No Apologies